I haven't been writing much these past weeks. Haven't had much time and have been pretty stressed. I have been spending my weekends in Stockholm enjoying time with my girlfriend and her family and this past week she was in Berlin with friends for the first time. These past days have been extremely tough. I was so nervous to show her Berlin and in hopes that she would fall in love. Whether or not that is the case is still to come. We fought a lot these past few days and it sucked but it was my fault in most cases. I've been under a lot of pressure and stress and have been taking it out on my loved ones. Which is usually the case but is never excused. All in all, having her here was such a beautiful experience. Seeing her face as I showed her around and seeing that she was genuinely interested meant a lot to me. My biggest fear is that she wouldn't like Berlin and therefore would complicate our long distance relationship. I sometimes feel I can't make her happy enough and that i'm not good enough but everybody has their problems. We handle ours usually really well. We were supposed to wake up around eight to take her and her friends to the airport, but she was up at five crying because she didn't wanna leave and she continued the whole way until I left and that killed me. I hated seeing her that upset. I sometimes wonder how people make this whole long distance thing work? It's far from easy and exhausting but I guess if we can make the long distance work then we can make anything work? I leave to Florida next monday for two weeks and this will be the first time were so long apart. Three weeks isn't so long but it is when the longest we've gone in the past few months was no more than a week. It hurts even more saying goodbye when the feelings are so intense. The goodbyes never get easier and the tears never get lighter. Our relationship isnt perfect, but whos is? Sure, sometimes I feel that we won't make it but I think everybody has those days. Sometimes you have to go through the rain to see the sun. Everyday can't be sunny. All I know is everytime I wanna leave she reminds why I should stay. We both have our issues and we both need to work on them, together. I have faith in us. The trust has been damaged in ways but I think we'll get back on our feet and fix it. Since I have met her I have changed so much. I don't wanna party or text other people or do stupid shit. I'm happy being with her. I love her. I really do and I hope that you all see this and can wish me the best on this. Im changing for the better and I couldnt be happier. Well, I think it's time for a little me time and to be depressed. I think thats allowed on a day like this. Have a good day ya'll!
Mit freundlichen grüßen,
Cory
