Freitag, den 29. Mai
So I know I have been slacking with posting as much but life has been quite busy. I, for once, have a bit of free time. This free time got me to thinking a bit about my life. Where i've been, where I am now and of course where i'm going. I feel like I have accomplished a lot up until this point in my life. I mean, there are not many people who are 23 and up and moved half way across the world just to live who then succeeded in finding their own home and establishing a whole new life, right? I think that is something to be proud of. When I talk with people back from the States, they always gawk at my story and say they wish they had the balls or courage to just up and move. Yeah, it wasn't easy but it was worth it. I live a good life I feel. I have family back in Florida, one of the prettiest places on earth, a good job with great work colleagues in Berlin, one of the coolest-hippest cities in the whole world, and a girlfriend from Stockholm, which is simply an amazing city in an amazing country. Which brings me to my dilemma I am facing now: where exactly am I going? My program will be ending the beginning of 2016, my first exams take place in exactly half a year. It is finally hitting me that soon I will need to decide the next steps of my life and that scares me. It really does! I do not know what I want to do with my life. I have always found passion in things and somehow lost it. This has always been a trend for me, not a good one, I know! So now when I finish in the next few months I am faced with a few options. Option 1 is to move back home, where my family is, who I love, miss and adore! My father is my second half from me and he means the world to me! Problem is I do not know what I could really do there? Outside of my family being there, there isn't much else for me there. Most of the friends I had there have left me and kind've gone their own ways. Option 2 is to stay in Berlin, possibly with my current job or another job. The plus to that is I have established the last three years of my life here so I do not have the stress of starting everything new but I don't really have too much here outside of work and home. Option 3 is to move to Stockholm, where my girlfriend wants to move to. I love Stockholm, it is rated in one of the best cities in the world to live. The country is beautiful, they live extremely good lives and everyone is so kind but as always, theres a catch: the job market is insanely tough and I risk not finding work there. The last option would be to explore other cities and see where my opportunities could be, which isn't really so much on my mind but I don't want to be closed minded. If I got offered a job in Paris or London, of course I would consider it. So I have Florida, where I only have my family really then Berlin, where I have my life established but not much more then theres Stockholm, where I have a good support system and my girlfriend but tough job chances. This all kind of overwhelms me because I do not know what really is best for me. I do not know how to find out how! I would be happiest if all three options could all be in one place but sadly that is not the reality of things. I am just curious if other people have these issues of sitting one day and realising they have absolutely no fucking idea what they want to do with their lives or is this just me? I am 23 years old, studying online and working full time here. I think at this age I should have a direction of what I want to proceed in but I don't and that is giving me major anxiety! I have yet to find something that I truly enjoy and can wake up and honestly say I love life. Maybe one of you could help me in figuring this out? Would be awesome because I have run out of ideas and patience on trying to solve this matter. Thanks for taking the time to read this. I hope you all enjoy your evenings and the rest of your days for my American readers!
Yours truly,
-Cory
Friday, May 29, 2015
Thursday, January 1, 2015
Welcome 2015!
Donnerstag, den 1. Januar
Well, we all made it to 2015 (atlas if you're reading this, you did!). I got to spend my new years alone sick with doctors but that's ok because I have had a lot of down time, which I guess is nice. I would like to take the time today to talk about something that has been on my mind for a while now. In the past weeks I have been seeing endless posts on love and romance and such lists that say how love is or should be, so today I am going to give my input on this subject. First off, I find that 98% of those articles put the wrong ideas into the young adults heads. We as the youth (18-25 years) are mentally unstable as is with all the social expectations and realities we are hit with daily. We've become so dependent on other peoples opinions that we've forgotten our own. A list that tells you how to live your life has way more impact than your own opinion does. It's like a poison that flows through our veins without us even knowing. I, myself, am guilty of this also but that's why I am writing this post so that maybe other people can understand the truth about love and emotions and not always follow the herds that believe in these articles and lists. Love is always described as this amazingly, unrealistic feeling. Like walking on clouds or swimming with dolphins. The reality is, thats the feeling of being ,,in love'' but not love itself. Love itself is work, lots and lots of work! Now don't get me wrong, I love my girlfriend dearly and when I say that love is work I do not necessarily imply that it is a negative thing. Being ,,in love'' is a wonderful feeling, you honestly feel like nothing can come between you two but sooner or later that drunken haze will fade away and the reality will set in. This is where things get complicated in our day and age. With social networking, dating websites, the world constantly being more and more connected it is now so simple to find someone else but is that truly the answer? Do we, as young adults, just give up after the ,,in love'' feeling fades? The sad truth is most people do and that hurts to see and hear. The fact is there will be a time in every relationship where routine kicks in, where your partner won't get dressed up but instead long in pyjamas and much much more things of that sort. The trick is to not over think, to live life to its fullest and know what's meant to be will be. When I first started dating my girlfriend I felt like I was moving mountains. The feelings was almost indescribable. We've been together now for nine months and the truth is those butterfly feelings have faded mostly and reality has kicked in. This alarmed me at first but after really sitting back and thinking I realised it was 100% normal and there is nothing more comforting than that of a comfortable relationship that you can simply be you in. We, as young adults, freak out at the first alarming thing in our relationships that we try to run or find something wrong with the relationship but in reality it is as simple as this: If a light bulb burns out in your house, you don't go changing the house because of that now do you? That is an old saying that has a lot of wisdom behind it. I believe centuries ago people fell ,,in love'' (which they had no control over) but had to work to keep that love alive well after the euphoric feelings were over. It is sad that on average we have more divorces than marriages in 2014! So the next time you think there might be something better out there for you, look back and remember why you fell ,,in love'' in the first place. Falling ,,in love'' cannot be forced but staying together can be worked on. I personally don't believe that relationships can't work. If you fell ,,in love'' in the first place, that means something brought you guys together. If you work at it and truly communicate and listen to one another then you'll never grow apart. If you neglect your partner and don't communicate and don't cater to their needs then there will be no need to wonder why your relationship didn't work in the end. We don't need articles or lists to tell us how to love or what is or isn't right in a relationship. All we need is communication and trust in ourselves and in our partners that we can and will achieve all obstacles in our relationships. I see to many people worrying how other people live their relationships and focus too little on their own relationships. I am far from innocent with anything. I could very well be a much better boyfriend and through therapy and self help, I am doing my best to be the best man I can for my girlfriend. My opinions on life have changed drastically in 2014 and I have matured significantly. I am going through a tough time mentally but I have a girlfriend who truly is the best for me. She is far from perfect and has her flaws and works hard everyday to be better for me. My recipe for happiness is as simple as this:
,,If you do your best to be the best for your partner...
and they do the same for you...
then everything else will fall right into place.''
Love is selfless, love is beautiful, love is work!
I hope my thoughts are clear enough that you can understand. I also hope that I do not offend anyone. Now time for me to go back to dying in bed. Enjoy your new years day world!
Mit freundlichen Grüßen,
Cory
Well, we all made it to 2015 (atlas if you're reading this, you did!). I got to spend my new years alone sick with doctors but that's ok because I have had a lot of down time, which I guess is nice. I would like to take the time today to talk about something that has been on my mind for a while now. In the past weeks I have been seeing endless posts on love and romance and such lists that say how love is or should be, so today I am going to give my input on this subject. First off, I find that 98% of those articles put the wrong ideas into the young adults heads. We as the youth (18-25 years) are mentally unstable as is with all the social expectations and realities we are hit with daily. We've become so dependent on other peoples opinions that we've forgotten our own. A list that tells you how to live your life has way more impact than your own opinion does. It's like a poison that flows through our veins without us even knowing. I, myself, am guilty of this also but that's why I am writing this post so that maybe other people can understand the truth about love and emotions and not always follow the herds that believe in these articles and lists. Love is always described as this amazingly, unrealistic feeling. Like walking on clouds or swimming with dolphins. The reality is, thats the feeling of being ,,in love'' but not love itself. Love itself is work, lots and lots of work! Now don't get me wrong, I love my girlfriend dearly and when I say that love is work I do not necessarily imply that it is a negative thing. Being ,,in love'' is a wonderful feeling, you honestly feel like nothing can come between you two but sooner or later that drunken haze will fade away and the reality will set in. This is where things get complicated in our day and age. With social networking, dating websites, the world constantly being more and more connected it is now so simple to find someone else but is that truly the answer? Do we, as young adults, just give up after the ,,in love'' feeling fades? The sad truth is most people do and that hurts to see and hear. The fact is there will be a time in every relationship where routine kicks in, where your partner won't get dressed up but instead long in pyjamas and much much more things of that sort. The trick is to not over think, to live life to its fullest and know what's meant to be will be. When I first started dating my girlfriend I felt like I was moving mountains. The feelings was almost indescribable. We've been together now for nine months and the truth is those butterfly feelings have faded mostly and reality has kicked in. This alarmed me at first but after really sitting back and thinking I realised it was 100% normal and there is nothing more comforting than that of a comfortable relationship that you can simply be you in. We, as young adults, freak out at the first alarming thing in our relationships that we try to run or find something wrong with the relationship but in reality it is as simple as this: If a light bulb burns out in your house, you don't go changing the house because of that now do you? That is an old saying that has a lot of wisdom behind it. I believe centuries ago people fell ,,in love'' (which they had no control over) but had to work to keep that love alive well after the euphoric feelings were over. It is sad that on average we have more divorces than marriages in 2014! So the next time you think there might be something better out there for you, look back and remember why you fell ,,in love'' in the first place. Falling ,,in love'' cannot be forced but staying together can be worked on. I personally don't believe that relationships can't work. If you fell ,,in love'' in the first place, that means something brought you guys together. If you work at it and truly communicate and listen to one another then you'll never grow apart. If you neglect your partner and don't communicate and don't cater to their needs then there will be no need to wonder why your relationship didn't work in the end. We don't need articles or lists to tell us how to love or what is or isn't right in a relationship. All we need is communication and trust in ourselves and in our partners that we can and will achieve all obstacles in our relationships. I see to many people worrying how other people live their relationships and focus too little on their own relationships. I am far from innocent with anything. I could very well be a much better boyfriend and through therapy and self help, I am doing my best to be the best man I can for my girlfriend. My opinions on life have changed drastically in 2014 and I have matured significantly. I am going through a tough time mentally but I have a girlfriend who truly is the best for me. She is far from perfect and has her flaws and works hard everyday to be better for me. My recipe for happiness is as simple as this:
,,If you do your best to be the best for your partner...
and they do the same for you...
then everything else will fall right into place.''
Love is selfless, love is beautiful, love is work!
I hope my thoughts are clear enough that you can understand. I also hope that I do not offend anyone. Now time for me to go back to dying in bed. Enjoy your new years day world!
Mit freundlichen Grüßen,
Cory
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| P.S.- Isn't she gorgeous? :) |
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