Freitag, den 29. Mai
So I know I have been slacking with posting as much but life has been quite busy. I, for once, have a bit of free time. This free time got me to thinking a bit about my life. Where i've been, where I am now and of course where i'm going. I feel like I have accomplished a lot up until this point in my life. I mean, there are not many people who are 23 and up and moved half way across the world just to live who then succeeded in finding their own home and establishing a whole new life, right? I think that is something to be proud of. When I talk with people back from the States, they always gawk at my story and say they wish they had the balls or courage to just up and move. Yeah, it wasn't easy but it was worth it. I live a good life I feel. I have family back in Florida, one of the prettiest places on earth, a good job with great work colleagues in Berlin, one of the coolest-hippest cities in the whole world, and a girlfriend from Stockholm, which is simply an amazing city in an amazing country. Which brings me to my dilemma I am facing now: where exactly am I going? My program will be ending the beginning of 2016, my first exams take place in exactly half a year. It is finally hitting me that soon I will need to decide the next steps of my life and that scares me. It really does! I do not know what I want to do with my life. I have always found passion in things and somehow lost it. This has always been a trend for me, not a good one, I know! So now when I finish in the next few months I am faced with a few options. Option 1 is to move back home, where my family is, who I love, miss and adore! My father is my second half from me and he means the world to me! Problem is I do not know what I could really do there? Outside of my family being there, there isn't much else for me there. Most of the friends I had there have left me and kind've gone their own ways. Option 2 is to stay in Berlin, possibly with my current job or another job. The plus to that is I have established the last three years of my life here so I do not have the stress of starting everything new but I don't really have too much here outside of work and home. Option 3 is to move to Stockholm, where my girlfriend wants to move to. I love Stockholm, it is rated in one of the best cities in the world to live. The country is beautiful, they live extremely good lives and everyone is so kind but as always, theres a catch: the job market is insanely tough and I risk not finding work there. The last option would be to explore other cities and see where my opportunities could be, which isn't really so much on my mind but I don't want to be closed minded. If I got offered a job in Paris or London, of course I would consider it. So I have Florida, where I only have my family really then Berlin, where I have my life established but not much more then theres Stockholm, where I have a good support system and my girlfriend but tough job chances. This all kind of overwhelms me because I do not know what really is best for me. I do not know how to find out how! I would be happiest if all three options could all be in one place but sadly that is not the reality of things. I am just curious if other people have these issues of sitting one day and realising they have absolutely no fucking idea what they want to do with their lives or is this just me? I am 23 years old, studying online and working full time here. I think at this age I should have a direction of what I want to proceed in but I don't and that is giving me major anxiety! I have yet to find something that I truly enjoy and can wake up and honestly say I love life. Maybe one of you could help me in figuring this out? Would be awesome because I have run out of ideas and patience on trying to solve this matter. Thanks for taking the time to read this. I hope you all enjoy your evenings and the rest of your days for my American readers!
Yours truly,
-Cory
