Samstag, den 23. November,
Good morning world,
I stayed home today due to the pains i've been having. Was a risky choice of mine since I am still in the probation period at work but I couldn't go into work and carry and lift for nine hours. Wasn't happening, I have to look out for myself too. Plus, i'm gonna force myself to go tomorrow. I got the chance to catch up on some sleep so I am already feeling much better. I didn't wanna stay home in bed because the pains subside when i am in an upright position so this may sound sad but i've been riding around on trains and buses because I don't have many friends here, and the ones I do have, have no time today or what not. It sounds sad, maybe it is but i'm trying to broaden my friend circle. I ended up texting the ex today asking if she was busy, i caved. I'm an idiot for that. I hope that she doesn't text back because I really miss her right now. She seems to be doing good though, which i'm happy for her. I realized all the things I did wrong. I thought I was the perfect guy but I realized I was quite horrible actually. I always had to be right, she always had to like what I liked but I never liked what she liked, she paid for so much and I never acted truly appreciative although I truly was, I was too controlling, and I simply didn't love her as much as I do love her. So all in all, it really was my fault in the end. I just hope that she finds someone who can love her better than I could. She may have handled the break up wrongly but she truly is an amazing woman and deserves the world. Maybe i'm just being hard on myself, but that's where my mind sits right now. I definitely have my work cut out for me here, but there's nothing I can't handle. A wise boss once told me ,,there is no such thing as a problem, only a solution" and I believe in that deeply. Ok, I feel I have written enough so back to riding around trying to kill time! Hope everyone enjoys their day!
Mit freundlichen Grüßen,
Cory
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